August 12, 2006

Muli shani bonse? It's only been about 2 weeks since I've written last, so not a whole lot has happened... I am happy to report that I've completely recovered from that stupid spider bite. (My house received a thorough cleaning when I returned to the village!) Oh, and just this week I received 2 packages from America that win the award for longest delivery time - a mere 6 months! Postmarked for the 1st week of February, they arrived bandaged and bruised, but with all of the contents intact. There's nothing quite like a Valentine's Day card in August. Here's a few stories from my recent life:

Mystery Guts

The following are excerpts from my journal. (I hope you enjoy the gory details!)

July 31, 2006... "The past 2 mornings when I've walked out to my dishrack to brush my teeth, I've found animal body parts strewn on top of the dishrack... It's clearly the guts of something rather small - a mouse? bird? The first time I found the guts out there it looked like a small set of intestines (which were hanging and swinging about 10 inches off the top of the dishrack) and maybe a liver or stomach and a couple little parts that looked like bloody beans or peas. Then this morning there was this organ that looked like a big, bloody, boiled shrimp. I thought it was an eyeball, but I coudn't actually make out an eye (plus, it was swarming with ants). So how are nasty animal guts appearing on my dishrack? I've come up with 2 possible explanations: 1) There are some sick village children who for some reason hate me and think it would be funny to dismember small animals and discard their insides on my dishrack during the middle of the night. 2) I thought I saw an owl in the tree in front of my house yesterday, so this could be the left-over scraps from it's nightly feeding... I'm really hoping it's an owl and I'm really hoping it stops dropping the nasty guts on my dishrack!"

August 1, 2006... "Today makes 3 days in a row of animal parts on my dishrack. This morning I was using a stick to remove a part that looked like a flesh-colored earthworm and as I was scraping it off I realized that there was an organ attached to the end of it! A liver? Or stomach maybe? I don't know. Yuck."

August 3, 2006... "Today marks the 2nd day in a row of no random animal parts being splattered on my dishrack. Hopefully that whole episode is over and done with for good."

August 5, 2006... "Guts on my dishrack again today..."

Mefloquin Madness - August 23, 2006

So I never came to a conclusive answer about those animal parts, but I've been traveling away from my site for the past 2 weeks, so there's no telling what I'll find upon my return... Mystery guts aside, I have been experiencing extreme insomnia, paranoia, and anxiety at night. About once a week or so I will wake up around 2 or 3 a.m. in a complete panic- with this deep, sinking fear in my gut that I am not alone in my hut. In fact, the "presence" in the room feels so real that I will have to get my flashlight and search the house just to reassure myself that no one is there. More recently I've started mistaking what must be some sort of shadow or something as a man standing at the foot of my bed... Then, the past 3 or 4 times that I've awoken with these night terrors I've heard this noise that sounds like heavy breathing- or light snoring. I can literally hear this breathing (it's not in my head, it is an actual sound), and it has a definite rhythm, just like breathing. It sounds like it's coming from right beside me or maybe even right above my head. One night the noise was so loud and distinctive that I went outside with a flashlight and made a quick lap around the house to make sure nobody was there. Nobody was there.

So I was in Lusaka this past week and I had the opportunity to sit down with a nurse and discuss whether or not I am losing my mind and what we should do about it. The nurse is convinced that in addition to my malaria prophylaxis bringing out the psycho in my, I may also be "allowing my subconscious anxiety about isolation and feeling vulnerable in the village" surface at night... Oh, and she told me to lock my doors and never walk around the house again at night, just in case there is actually a man lurking around. (That last bit of advice really helps with the paranoia.)

My current plans are to return to the village, think happy thoughts before bed, and hope that the creepy breathing, night shadow man doesn't show up for any more 3 a.m. appearances. If in 2 or 3 months from now I am still delusional, then we're going to consider switching me to a new malaria prophylaxis. Good times, good times.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers everybody! In my next letter I am going to provide some details about the type of work I am doing, so stay tuned...

Shalenipo,

      Erin